Thursday, October 31, 2013

A Twentysomething Party Vs. A Thirtysomething Party

Twentysomething party: The fun doesn’t really get going until 11:30 p.m.
Thirtysomething party: Everyone arrives promptly at 8.
Twenties: You invite a million people and don’t care how many people are coming.
Thirties: Your guest rolled in with five of her friends and didn’t RSVP???
Twenties: Just throw your stuff wherever, it doesn’t matter.
Thirties: You gather coats and put them on your bed. Or on an actual coatrack!
The punch at a twentysomething party: a vat of Sunkist orange soda and Popov.
Thirties: EVERYONE brings a bottle of red wine.
Twenties: huddling in the bedroom to do drugs.
Thirties: huddling in bedrooms to look at someone’s wedding dress Pinterest board.
At a twentysomething party: checking out someone.
Thirtysomething party: checking out someone’s Vitamix.
Twentysomething party: dancing to the latest tunes.
Thirties: discussing your passionate feelings about Jonathan Franzen.
Twentysomething party: Food is a couple of bags of random tortilla chips.
Thirtysomething party: Someone brought something homemade and uber-fancy to show off how good they are at cooking.
Twentysomething party: Your neighbors ask you to turn the music down.
Thirties: YOU ask you to turn the music down.
Twenties: That one person brings an ironic six-pack of Smirnoff Ice.
Thirties: That one person brings their baby.
Twenties: getting mad when you catch people hooking up in your bedroom.
Thirties: getting mad when you catch a guest doing the dishes for you.
Twentysomething party games:
Thirtysomething party games:
Twenties: Take a bunch of shots with your fun quasi-alcoholic friend.
Thirties: Talk in concerned, hushed tones about how your quasi-alcoholic friend needs to “get it under control.”
Twenties: getting mad when people steal your stuff.
Thirties: getting mad when someone accidentally takes home your casserole dish instead of theirs.
After a party in your twenties: You let the mess linger for days. (Maybe even…weeks.)
Thirtysomething party: You clean up that night (and your friends pitch in!).
Twenties: After the party it’s the after-party, then after the party it’s the hotel lobby.
After a fun night with your friends, at any age:

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